16/04/2010 - Some Jokes & Quotes found over Nets

These goodies are from Clinton Herbert AB7RG

"If at first you don't succeed, try calling CQ again." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Hams never go senile, they just QSY a little with age." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"You know it's bad when... you start hearing CW all the time, and there really isn't any..." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"You're an addict when... You start carrying your HT with you everywhere, even into the bathroom..." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"There's no effective DSP or Notch Filter for a parrot!" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"There shortest distance between two paths depends upon propagation." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"The shortest distance between two paths is often a repeater or node." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Elmer or complain, you choose. Which is more fun for you?" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"It's pretty bad when your baby's first words are; "CQ"!" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"It's pretty bad when your parrot starts calling CQ in CW. It's worse when your parrot starts imitating dead carriers and heterodynes. But the very worst thing is when your parrot racks up a higher score during a contest than you!" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"If you have a squawking bird in the background during a QSO, is this considered having a "chirp" on your signal?" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
""Surprise" one of your friends -- twist both the Load and Plate controls fully clockwise while he's transmitting!" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
Life's too short -- call CQ!" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"When in doubt, call CQ!" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"When in doubt, QRO." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Communication is the key to happiness." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Life getting boring? Post yourself to the local DX Cluster and see what happens!" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"You might be a ham if... You have more wire up and coax cable run than the electric company and the cable company combined." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"You know it's bad when you pick up the phone and say "QRZ?" instead of hello." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"I chase DX, therefore I am." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"You know it's bad when you tell a joke in person and end it with "HI HI"!" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"The more noise you make, the more contacts you rake!" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"There had better be Amateur Radio in Heaven when I become a SK or I'm coming back!" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"It's pretty bad when you sign your callsign instead of your name." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"When the band is seemingly "dead", try this: "QRZ? The P5 again please..." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"User: The confused operator reading bulletins on a BBS" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Sysop: The operator sitting back and laughing at all the user typos on the BBS" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"If an antenna falls in the forest, and no one is there to see or hear it, does it's SWR change?" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Think that nobody cares about you? Start tossing a dead carrier on your local repeater for an hour and see how many people suddenly take an interest in you..." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG

"DX IS!" -- or "Was", if you were too busy tuning up your amp and missed it." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Yes Alex, I'll take "Things only an Amateur Radio Operator would know" for $1,000.00." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Good Day: When you are DX'ing from a remote tropical island.
Bad Day: When the remote tropical island turns out to be Jurassic Park and a T-Rex comes after you." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Good Day: When you avoid getting eaten by a T-Rex while DX'ing from Jurassic Park (TE0JP?)
Bad Day: When you realize a day later that you left your log book behind, with the T-Rex..." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Good Day: When you and several of your DX'er buddies go off for an island DXpedition.
Bad Day: When your DX'er buddies form an alliance and vote you off the island." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Good Day: When you get help from the friendly island natives when setting up your DXpedition.
Bad Day: When the friendly island natives turn out to be cannibals..." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Good Day: When you are raking in DX stations and a P5 calls you.
Bad Day: When lightning strikes your antenna just as the P5 is calling you." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"You know it's bad when you start giving out RST reports when you are on
the telephone." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"ESPQRP: Extra Sensory Perception QRP -- The TRUE QRP!" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"There's nothing to fear but fear itself. Well, that and poor propagation and a high K Index." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG